Hi, We’re the Old Russian Broads that Eat @Kmart on 34th St.

I recently found myself in the Kmart on 34th and 7th ave quite early in the morning looking for some housewares.  The details of my early Thursday morning visit are far less interesting than  what I found lurking in the shadows of the mid-town department store that faithful morning.  Please, take a minute to observe this photo in all its glory:

Long live the Ukraine.

Now let’s examine each item in a clockwise fashion starting with….

What we have here is the sign identifying the specific region of the Furniture section we were in.  If you can’t quite make it out I’ll  give you a hint: It’s the Casual Furniture section.

This is a sign identifying the price of the table they fancied most.  That price would be $179.

This would be the brown bag that our ORB (Old Russian Broad) brought her 3-course breakfast in. Egg sandwich, OJ & rocks.

This is a sign identifying the price of the table that was a bit of their price range. That price would be $279.

This little gem right here is the purse of our ORB #1.  You’ll notice that she chose to keep it away from her “work station.”

These broads may be grimey but you cannot  tell me they aren’t  100% focused and committed to the cause. Which is unnecessarily eating breakfast IN THE GOD DAMN CASUAL FURNITURE SECTION OF KMART.   Are these two really that hard-up for somewhere to eat & read that they default to Kmart?  Judging by how they carried themselves this was one their first sample furniture display meal.  When  you get right down to it, the lesson here is simple: I should stop sleeping with old women I meet in the casual furniture sections of sub-par department stores.

Coming soon part II of this story: “My Sunday Afternoon at Sears.”